


Don't Take Beheaded Queens to the Zoo

by Please No Portraits (GothAlbinoAngel)



Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Beheaded Cousins, F/F, Fluff, Zoo trip, background Parrward, family outing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:26:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23020927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothAlbinoAngel/pseuds/Please%20No%20Portraits
Summary: Anon asked: “That cute act is all just a lie” with Cleves/Jane? That seems like it could be funorThe queens decide to take a trip to the zoo
Relationships: Jane Seymour/Anna of Cleves, Katherine Howard/Catherine Parr
Comments: 3
Kudos: 106





	Don't Take Beheaded Queens to the Zoo

**Author's Note:**

> Nicknames: Kit – Howard, Cathy – Parr, Lina – Aragon, Jeanie – Jane (an affectionate nickname derived from her reincarnated name, Jean Simone)
> 
> This was a pairing I didn't know I loved until I got two requests for it. My anons really are the best.

“But the hippos are big dummies!”

“So are the moose!”

“Not like the hippos!”

“You’ve never even seen a moose before!”

“You neither!”

“How do _you_ know!?”

“ _Have_ you?!”

“That’s not the point!”

“YOU HAVEN’T!”

“KITRINA HOLLAND, I WILL NOT GIVE YOU ANY CAKE FOR A _MONTH_ IF YOU KEEP SASSING MY CANADIAN DEER!”

“STOP TRYING TO DOWNGRADE MY AFRICAN HORNLESS UNICORNS!”

Anna couldn’t breathe. Of course the cousins would be the ones to have this argument in the middle of the zoo. It was supposed to just be a family outing, but as soon as they arrived, Anne and Kit wanted to see different things and ended up in an argument over it. The other queens could only watch in mild amusement (and in Lina’s case, mild frustration).

Anna had her arm slung around Jane’s shoulders, keeping her close in this crowd. It wasn’t that Anna thought Jane would get lost, she just didn’t like any of them being alone in crowds, especially Kit and Jane. She didn’t know any of these people or their intentions, so she couldn’t let them near her family without good reason. As she surveyed the area, Anna listened to the argument continue.

“THEN WHY DON’T YOU GO WATCH YOUR LOPSIDED DEER REJECTS!”

“I WILL! AND YOU CAN GO SEE YOUR LAZY RHINO WANNABES!”

Lina gave a snort, but cleared her throat. “Now that you two have relatively calmed, let’s pair off. Anne, you’re with me. Cathy, keep Kit out of trouble. Jane, Anna, I trust you two will be fine on your own?”

“Yes, we’ll be fine,” Jane shot her a smile. “We’ll stay near each other, and everyone has the group chat should anything happen.”

Anne and Kit were only barely listening, having a match to see who can stick their tongue out the furthest to one-up the other. Lina tried to hide her amusement, but the two were such children when it came to family outings. It was a wonder why they even still went anywhere.

“Come on, Kitten,” Cathy sighed, stepping in to save her godmother. “I can think of better things you can be doing with that.” Both Anne and Kit spun on her in shock, grudges forgotten. “Let’s go see your hornless unicorn, babe.”

Kit bounced over to Cathy and latched onto her arm. With one last glare thrown over her shoulder at Anne, she and Cathy bounced off with a wave. The others shook their heads goodnaturedly and separated.

Jane gave a laugh as she and Anna headed toward the wolves. “I can’t believe how much of a spitfire Kit is. It’s difficult to believe she used to be shy with the way she keeps Anne on her toes.”

“Yeah, you’re telling me,” Anna laughed. “Even Katherine wouldn’t have been able to speak up at someone like that, even though she fought against Henry beheading every tiny infraction he came across.”

Jane leaned her head on Anna’s shoulder. Before getting to the wolves, they stopped by the bears. Polar bears were absolute monsters. At least black and brown bears were reasonable height. Polar bears would probably step on you and kill you. Jane glanced around worriedly.

“It’s been a while since I last went to a zoo. They don’t _actually_ keep polar bears here, do they?”

“No, they don’t, babe,” Anna reassured her. “Controlling that kind of environment is hard, so most zoos don’t bother.”

“Oh, good,” Jane breathed, trying to get a good picture of the black bear lounging near its enclosure water hole. “I would hate for them to be poorly taken care of. Zoos are so good to their animals.”

Anna squeezed her shoulder gently and they continued on. It was… almost like a date, really. The two of them just being together and enjoying the sights. Anna might have to take Jane to a zoo more often, though, without the beheaded queens to avoid anymore overinflated drama. Jane leaned her head on Anna’s shoulder as they passed by an enclosure holding a bobcat.

“Kit would love this one,” she murmured. “She’s always had such a strong affinity for cats.”

“Comes with the territory,” Anna joked. “Being the youngest of us all, she’s the most kitten-like. But just like cats, that cute act is all just a lie. A lie revealed when she steals the cookies from the jar.”

Jane laughed and playfully pushed at her shoulder. “As if you’re not right there with her. I distinctly recall walking in on the two of you with cheeks full. And the jar was in _your_ hands.”

“She needed help opening it!” Anna tried to defend herself through a chuckle. “And why couldn’t I have a reward after being so generous.”

“You both spoiled your dinner,” Jane pouted cutely. Anna’s heart about melted at the expression.

She leaned down to gently peck Jane’s cheek. “But I ate all of the leftovers the very next day, Jeanie. You know I would never pass up a chance to eat your cooking. Ruined dinner or not.”

Jane blushed at the pet name and nuzzled against Anna’s chin. “You’re such a charmer,” she said softly. She felt Anna’s arm tighten around her shoulder and found herself pulled into a quick hug.

“Only for you, babes,” Anna whispered into her ear. Jane’s cheeks flushed darker and Anna grinned. “Aw, you’re too adorable.”

“And you’re just _too_ much,” Jane laughed. She remained tucked into Anna’s side as the hug ended and they continued on.

Pictures were taken, naturally. From Anna posing in front of the wolf enclosure, to Jane managing to snap a selfie with one of the young tigers (behind the enclosure fence, obviously). Anna took every opportunity she could to kiss Jane’s cheek or hold her close, especially during pictures. The two of them got a few selfies in the snake section of the zoo.

Jane raised an eyebrow at Anna, unimpressed. “I cannot _believe_ you’re doing this,” she muttered, unable to keep all of the amusement from her voice.

Anna, kneeling beside the enclosure with the albino boa constrictor ignored her for a moment as she kept trying to talk with it. If some rando preteen with glasses and a scar can do it, then she can, too. Unfortunately, she was having, uh, difficulties. Namely, the talking and understanding bit.

“Come on, Anna,” Jane said, gently tugging her girlfriend’s collar. “You can nerd out at the pet store. Other people want to see the snake, too.”

“Darn,” Anna sighed. She frowned as she stood up. “Was worth a try, though.”

“I know.” Jane pecked her nose affectionately. “But it’s not a real language, sweetheart. And you’re too noble and kind to be the descendant of that House anyway.”

A smirk slid over Anna’s lips at that. “You’re right, babe. Thanks.” She stole a quick kiss to Jane’s lips before they continued on their way.

“We should be heading back to the rendezvous soon,” Jane reminded Anna, checking her watch. Anne promised she was paying for lunch.”

“Assuming she hasn’t spent it all at the gift shop,” Anna snickered.

“Well, that’s what we have you for, then, isn’t it?” Jane teased.

Anna gave an exaggerated gasp. “You only brought me to pay for stuff? Is that all I’m good for?”

“Of course not!” Jane exclaimed in equally as faux reassurance. “You’re good for plenty of things! Snuggling, hugging, singing, playing videogames…”

“Oh, I like you,” Anna cooed, reaching up to twirl a strand of Jane’s hair around her finger. “Who’s the charmer now?”

Jane flushed and turned her nose up in her best impression of a snooty queen. “I’m only repaying what I was given!”

They shared another laugh as they headed for the zoo restaurant. On the way, they spotted a mountain of stuffed animals, obviously from the gift shop, and shared a glance. Instead of Anne, though, it was Kit, arms full and smile firmly in place. When she spotted them, she grinned.

“Hey!” she chirped. “I got these for the whole house!”

“No longer holding a grudge match with Anne, then?” Jane called, taking a few of the stuffed animals from her so it was easier for her to manage.

“Nope!” Kit dug around in her arms and came out with a stuffed alligator. “Because she’s going to _love_ this!”

Her friends nodded and they all continued toward the restaurant. Jane was glad the earlier conflict (if one could really call it that), had dissolved. Now, they could all sit down for a nice meal together. She had so many pictures to share.

The cousins had other plans, though. For once they saw they menu, they began another debate. Once again, the other queens could only watch in silent amusement.

“Obviously, the dinosaur-shaped nuggets are the best, Annie!”

“No way! The animal-shaped mac’n’cheese is better!”

Well, at least Jane had Anna to cuddle into while they waited for the cousins to finish up. Honestly, she enjoyed the outing quite a bit already. Even with Kit and Anne bickering light-heartedly about minor differences in opinion, it was nice to be out with them all. But Jane definitely had to agree with Anna.

Kit was so much like a cat. Deceiving cuteness and all.

**Author's Note:**

> This one was a lot of fun. I haven’t been to the zoo in a while, so I couldn’t fit as much fluff as I would have liked, but I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless! Also, yes. I did make that reference. Not sorry.


End file.
